I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
