So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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