If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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