sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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