It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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