I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
