is your mom at the bar?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
