Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
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