Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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