Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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