How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Houston, we have a squirter
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
