All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize