pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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