Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
