he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Randomize
