Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We're too hungover to prance.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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