You can't motorboat a personality
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
