Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
