ugly people sure do ruin things
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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