The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
