I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
