East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
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