im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
"it" just moved
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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