I swear she didn't look like that last week.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
