Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
