You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
