school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
what day is it and did you see me today?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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