Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
