That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
