I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Randomize
