my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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