so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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