I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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