she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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