is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
How does one acquire holy water?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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