his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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