what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
