Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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