I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
