I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
