Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It's blow job season.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
