well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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