I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
