Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
