ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
