Having a random hookup so left but love u
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
