I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
