my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
