I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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