every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
