Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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