Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry OnceUponAWhore25 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.

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(361): View more from Texas

I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.

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(314): View more from Missouri

The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b

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(843): View more from South Carolina

The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.

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(949): View more from California

He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.

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(941): View more from Florida

The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo

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(314): View more from Missouri

"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.

(1-314): View more from Missouri

When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.

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(989): View more from Michigan

All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.

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(917): View more from New York City

My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...

(1-917): View more from New York City

Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...

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