So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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