I'm really into asian looking animals
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize