I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
ttyl tear gas
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
