YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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