hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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