I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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