I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize