I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
What a dumb baby whore.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
