Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
