I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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