I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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