My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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